Just Stay Home

I have made my decision, I am not going anywhere ever again. A few weeks ago, I was sitting in the waiting room of my Doctor's office, when I looked down at the floor and discovered small clumps of straw and manure under my feet. Well, I knew that the appointment was for 8:30 am, so chances were that I was the first person to occupy that seat for the day.

I went to the restroom and cleaned off my shoes then went back to the waiting room and pushed the mess up under the chair as inconspicuously as possible.

This evening I went to Church and the same thing happened, it isn't my fault that the chickens aren't more careful about where they eliminate waste. They leave an undetectable trap right outside the passenger side door of our truck for my nice clean Church shoes.

Another thing worrying me is that I don't notice my billy goat having an odor anymore, this could mean that I have been desensitized to his smell, in which case, I might not notice that I smell like a billy goat. Hopefully some close family member would tell me. I might be safe though, maybe he is just out of the rut and doesn't stink anymore, after all, no strangers have asked me if I raise goats lately.

I hope I am not becoming one of those old pathetic Chicken and Goat Farmers that everyone makes fun of, that would be embarrassing. People tend to admire horse and cattle ranchers but goat and chicken farmers are a very discriminated against minority. If you are one, you never admit to it. People always snicker when you tell them or ask you why (that is another reason to stay home and not go anywhere).

When you meet other people like yourself, you instantly bond and sympathize with each other. We are an intelligent group though, I just spelled, decision, inconspicuously, eliminate, passenger, desensitized, discriminated, sympathize and intelligent, my spell checker has confirmed that I was correct.