I'm Better Than This

I come before you in all humbleness, begging for your forgiveness. I have been pretty low as of late. A few weeks ago I finally had something to look forward to. I was so deliriously happy because things were looking up for us. I should have known that it was just a trick to bring me crashing down. I know that I should never look forward to a better life here on earth. It is a trap that always captures me, then I feel stupid because I am better than this, I have always known that I can't be optimistic.

I hope that I have finally learned my lesson and will try to remain true to myself and will not set myself up for anymore falls. I have always been a pessimist and I should not have been so foolish as to think that the light at the end of the tunnel was anything other than a train. It was just that this time it was a sure thing! All of the worry and waiting was over. Then it all just exploded in our faces.

So here we are, back where we are most comfortable, in the land of despair. Fields full of mouths to feed with no hay in sight for the winter. At least we have milk, eggs, tomatoes and pears (Thank you, Diane!) to eat. The good news is that I will probably never get osteoporosis because I get tons of calcium.

My Mother always said that I was a happy-go-lucky child, she didn't know the dark secret that I kept so well hidden.

With this post I have left my "feeling sorry for myself" behind and am ready to tackle the next struggle, pounds and pounds of pears to process and can.