I'm Better Than This

I come before you in all humbleness, begging for your forgiveness. I have been pretty low as of late. A few weeks ago I finally had something to look forward to. I was so deliriously happy because things were looking up for us. I should have known that it was just a trick to bring me crashing down. I know that I should never look forward to a better life here on earth. It is a trap that always captures me, then I feel stupid because I am better than this, I have always known that I can't be optimistic.

I hope that I have finally learned my lesson and will try to remain true to myself and will not set myself up for anymore falls. I have always been a pessimist and I should not have been so foolish as to think that the light at the end of the tunnel was anything other than a train. It was just that this time it was a sure thing! All of the worry and waiting was over. Then it all just exploded in our faces.

So here we are, back where we are most comfortable, in the land of despair. Fields full of mouths to feed with no hay in sight for the winter. At least we have milk, eggs, tomatoes and pears (Thank you, Diane!) to eat. The good news is that I will probably never get osteoporosis because I get tons of calcium.

My Mother always said that I was a happy-go-lucky child, she didn't know the dark secret that I kept so well hidden.

With this post I have left my "feeling sorry for myself" behind and am ready to tackle the next struggle, pounds and pounds of pears to process and can.

Worrying

I am a worrier, I'll admit it but I would rather worry about things and then not be surprised when the worst thing happens, than to be optimistic and get caught off guard.

Giselle is huge and uncomfortable but I started worrying that she was just a little too dull. She was laying around all of the time and didn't want to get up, her hind legs were swollen and she was grinding her teeth. When she stumbled and fell when I tried to get her up to go out to the goat lot, I decided something was wrong and it wasn't my imagination. I consulted my expert forum friends at GoatBeat.net and they told me to look into Pregnancy Toxemia / Ketosis, which I did. It is caused by the build up of excess ketones in the blood, due to the incomplete metabolic breakdown of body fat. Giselle had some of the symptoms.

I started dosing her with Corn Syrup, Nutri-drench, Vit.B Complex and Molasses and also increased her alfalfa hay ration. I am not sure what caused this unless it is because she was fat during the first part of her pregnancy, maybe too much grain, the wrong type of grain, too many babies or large babies. But I do think that I am seeing an improvement in her, she is jumping right up for her doses of medicine, she loves it.